The Facts about Domestic Abuse Article

Belittling, humiliation, beating, stalking, rape—these are all tragedies that occur with domestic abuse. Isolation, injury, depression, and low self-esteem are the direct results. Domestic abuse, also known as spousal abuse, is a serious problem in the United States. According to the American Institute on Domestic Violence, 5.3 million women are abused each year in the US, every nine seconds a woman is beaten, and every year 1,232 women are killed by an intimate partner.

Domestic abuse occurs when one person in an intimate relationship or marriage tries to dominate over the other in some way. Men and women can both be abusers; however, women are five to eight times more likely to be abused. Despite what some may think it does not happen due to a lack of control on behalf of the abuser. Domestic abuse is a choice the abuser makes based on his need to exert power and control over his partner. For example, he often considers and even plans out scenarios for the next abusive encounter. He chooses to hurt his partner in areas where others will not see the bruises. He stops abusing to appear completely in control in situations where he might be caught.

Most often, abuse occurs in cycles, and being familiar with that cycle may help you or someone you know to escape from a bad situation. The cycle always begins with abuse, which can be psychological, physical, sexual, or economic. After the abuse occurs, the abuser feels guilt, but not about what he has done to his partner. His main concern lies with being caught. He rationalizes or makes excuses for what he has done, often accusing his partner of pushing him to do it.

In order to regain control over the relationship and keep his partner from leaving, he then reverts to “normal behavior.” He may pretend that he did nothing at all, or he may treat his partner like gold—causing her to feel that there really is hope for a happy life together. This is often referred to as the honeymoon phase. Once normalcy is reestablished, the abuser begins to fantasize and plan out the next time he will abuse his partner. He creates a plan, a set-up, which his victim will fall into so that he has what he thinks is a legitimate excuse to abuse her again. Then the cycle starts all over again.

There are many signs to look for that indicate whether you or someone you know may be a victim of domestic abuse. There are those based on inner feelings and those based on the abusive partner's behaviors.

Signs of abuse based on your own inner feelings: